Reading to You

Today I went for a walk with The Wee Page Turner in the pram to pick up BookBairn from nursery. And I cried as I walked along the street. Actual real, pouring down my cheeks tears. And no it wasn't because I was stressed or felt like I was failing as a parent (though these tears have been shed). It's because I was moved by a beautiful piece of poetry.

I've been listening to 'Nobody Told Me' by Hollie McNish on audiobook, and as The Wee Page Turner had drifted off to sleep, I plugged my headphones in and listened to a little more as I wandered. And as she read 'Reading to You' I realised my life has profoundly changed since I had my children. And the best nights of my life have been reading to them.

She begins, "I've had some beautiful nights in my life..."

And I have. I watched the Aurora Borealis on my favourite beach in the world with the love of my life (though I knew this not then). I have danced until my feet hurt. I have wandered through fields in my pyjamas. I have walked home from a concert, in Paris, in the snow in six inch high heels. I have been to the top of the Empire State, the Eiffel Tower. I have listened to live opera on the Spanish Steps in Rome. I wore a white gown and looked up at the stars holding the hand of my new husband.

She continues,

"but sitting here
as the night falls
reading to you"

Bedtime is my favourite part of the day. There's something magical about the twilight. About the lavender smell. About the sound of the lullaby from their mobile. About cuddling in close.

She says,
"and I watch as you sink past that magical gate
turn-point between falling asleep from awake

of all my nights and the stars I've walked through
of all the nights and the parties I've been to
I've no greater night-times than reading to you

till you sleep
open-mouthed
ear on my arm
heart to my heart
with a laugh
as you drift into dreams
and I finish the book
though I know
you're already asleep

I stare at your face
in the still silent room

the best nights of my life
have been reading to you"

The best nights of my life have been reading my children to sleep. Holding them in my arms in the dark as the world sleeps, feeling like the only people in the world awake, and gazing down as their eyes close. And breathing a sigh as their calmness washes over me. A sigh of relief, perhaps, that they are now asleep and I can finally rest. But also a sigh of love. So the best nights of my life are watching you drift off to sleep.

This is just an excerpt of my favourite parts of the poem. Thank you Hollie for such a beautiful poem. I highly recommend her poetry, it's accessible and about topics that I understand. Many of her poems have moved me emotionally. I often re read them over and over again.